Friday, October 10, 2008

Things I don't worship

People are constantly telling me that you need to believe in something, that it's part of the human nature to worship, that the non-religious worship this guy or that thing or whatever. I don't know how much of it is based on human psychology and how much on simply projecting their own need of belief on someone else, but I do know that, like most general statements, "All humans worship something" is wrong. I myself am an example. Yet it's still awfully common for me to hear "You worship X" whenever X is the topic of discussion and I've already explained my religious stance. For reasons that are at the moment unclear, and probably involve the phrase "I have too much time in my hands", I have decided to compile this list of things I've been accused of worshipping, together with a small comment of probable reasons the claim has been made and why I do not worship them:

Ungod: Worshipping him is pointless, since he doesn't give a fuck. (also it's a joke religion)

Satan: I know demonizing the opposition is easier than actually talking to us, but no. I don't buy into any part of your myth, including that one.

Atheos: Not a clue who that is, but it's named often, alongside with Athe.

Allah: Because it's so much simpler if you can divide people in two clearly separated groups.

Jesus: I've lost count of the times I've been told that everyone believes in Jesus, and that I'm just in denial because I'm in love with sin.

Evolution: Some people are stuck in the stage of human civilization where every explanation for natural phenomena is part of a religion. The rest of us have science.

Scientists: Sometimes all of them as a single entity, sometimes one in particular. Darwin, Newton, Einstein, Hawking, etc. Yeah, they're pretty great, but they are not gods.

Human reasoning: I consider it one of the most powerful forces in the universe in some cases, but I don't equate it to God.

The Internet: I might think it's the best thing since sliced bread, but no worship. Incidentally, I don't worship sliced bread either.

Myself: I like who I am and all, but not to that extent.

The concept of nothingness: There's a comment that needs to be made about the difference between the set that contains zero as its only element and the empty set, but I won't make it. Instead, I'll just point and laugh.

Barack Obama. I state my opinion that he would be better than the alternative, and suddenly I think he is the Second Coming of the Messiah. Gimme a break.

Sex: For some reason, all atheists are stereotyped as sex-crazed sluts. Yes, most have quite a few less inhibitions in that regard. That doesn't mean worship, and in any case it doesn't apply to all of us.

Ra, Osiris, Zeus, Jove, and other pagan deities: I have been known to say Holy Ra! on occasion, but this is ridiculous.

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